Dear young couples: What you need to know before you say I do…

Dear young couple,

I know you have painted a perfect picture for your marriage: The breakfast in bed, lots of fun, children, good food, loads of romance and …yes, lots of sex! How can I forget that. Lol.
It’s normal for you to dream of a stress free marriage devoid of marital brou-ha-ha. But sorry to say, that kind of marriage doesn’t exist. It only happens in fairytales not in real life. You have to be the one to create your own happily ever after. In short, it is wisdom to prepare yourself for marital storms for they will come. So please save yourself from surprises and read on. I want to disillusion you from certain things.

First thing you should know is this: There is no marriage without problems. When I say none, I mean none. Your first year of marriage may not be as sweet as you think. Now, don’t get me wrong. I will explain. And please I am not trying to scare you but to prepare your mind about what to expect so that when you see these things happening, you won’t be caught off guard and think that your marriage isn’t working when actually it is working perfectly.

Though both of you have become one flesh, you are still two different people with different views and mindsets. So there is bound to be friction and clash of opinions as your differences come into play even in the most trivial matters. Tempers will flare but at the end of the day, through tolerance, you both will find a common ground concerning that particular issue on which your marriage will thrive. Practice makes perfect. With time, you will be able to get over your differences more easily.

What’s happening is simple: you are getting to know each other better than ever(Yes, you may have courted for a very long time but marriage opens your eyes to things you never had noticed in your spouse before). You both are trying to fit into your different marital responsibilities, so it is a sort of discovery for you both because you are on a new terrain. So being new to the system, there are bound to be hiccups.

It’s left for you to choose to allow those hiccups mould your marriage or break it. So ultimately, the success of your marriage depends on both of you.
First year of my marriage, husby and I had our fair share of squabbles…lol. But over the years, we have come to know and understand each other better. I am not saying that we no more have our occasional arguments but we are adapting better and fitting better into each other’s lives. Our love and respect have grown stronger and deeper. Why? Because are passing through the marriage school. God is making us, moulding us into the kind of couple He wants us to be.

Thus, see your occasional marital issues as an opportunity to be a better spouse and not as an opportunity to divorce!
Nothing good comes easy. You have to work for it and bring God into it. A successful marriage is built on various ingredients (God, love, patience, tolerance, understanding, self control and trust), and like balanced diet, you need all for your union to function properly.

Now to the sex part. This is the part that gets the would be couple excited. Yey! Finally, you both are getting what you've always wanted: to be together without restrictions. Yes, you now have full access to your bodies, to have and to hold day in, day out. You probably imagine yourselves having sex every single minute of single every day! Yeah, that’s how overly stretched these dreams can be. Lol. Let me break the ice: it won’t be that way. Hah! It’s impossible sef.

Your love making frequency will reduce with time. It will reduce, not because your spouse’s love or attraction for you has reduced. No. It’s just a natural occurrence. Because as you grow in marriage, you begin to look for 'quality sex' not 'quantity sex'. After all you are both yours forever so why the hurry?

Finally let me reiterate that marriage is like wine. It tastes sweeter and gets better with time. Don’t give way under it’s pressure rather let the pressure be your building blocks to a successful married life.

Enjoy your marriage. Happy married life.