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Love and Sex

CREATIVE LOVEMAKING AND PORNOGRAPHY IN MARRIAGE

Love making is so important in marriage. It helps in bonding, deep intimacy and even in a spiritual connection between a man and his wife. It's a special unique way for them to express what they feel for each other, the love, the passion, the desire. Not only is it for procreation , it's also God-given for pleasure. Since sex is really important in nurturing and fostering married love, I'm absolutely sure it's God's design that married couples shouldn't be stereotyped , that is, doing the same thing over and over each time they meet. Be versatile !Be creative! Creativity makes life less boring. When your sex life becomes stereotyped , it becomes a ritualistic ,business-as-usual kind of relationship . It loses its flare and excitement. It becomes for the couple, more or less an obligation rather than a bliss.God wants you to enjoy every aspect of your married life. He wants you to enjoy each other and pour out your love on each other without any restraints .
As a child of God, make no mistake of resorting to pornographic movies or materials as a tool to boost your sex life. Someone once complained to me about how boring his sex life was with his wife. He wondered if he should opt for pornographic movies. I told him never to try it. Pornography is a no go area even if you intend to watch it with your spouse. It's never an option in Christian marriage affairs. How do you think the Lord would feel if he walks into your sitting room and sees you and your spouse watching a pornographic movie? Do you think he'd be pleased? If not for anything, why should you a Christian choose to be tutored by worldly people in the intimate acts marriage? It's pure foolishness. I believe the Holy Spirit is able to teach us everything we need to know about having fun in love making.How do I know this? I will tell you in just a moment. Years ago, while in the University, I had a room mate who said, " Sex is so dirty! So vulgar! How can God be in it?" Sex is not dirty. It's only dirty when it involves two unmarried people. God innovated sex to be between two married people as a way to celebrate their sexual love for each other. Now if God created sex, don't you think He is able to teach you variety of ways to make love making fun?
Sex is a sacred, intimate and a private occurrence between a man and his wife. It's not something meant for public display but simply for the mutual pleasure of the couple. Pornography as such violates this principle of sacredness and privacy. Not only that, it's pure fornication since the people involved aren't even married. They have a common goal of satisfying their unbridled lust. So as you sit down to be entertained by these people, you also partake in their lust and their sin of sexual immorality.
Pornography has its implications.
-It can create in you an unbridled appetite for sexual pleasure and lust.
-It can push you into masturbation and sexual immorality. Remember this that sex is not only committed with the body, it can also be committed in the heart.
-It makes you to cheat on your spouse. Personally,I consider it unfaithfulness or cheating for a spouse to be engaged in pornography. Why? Because he is being aroused by a strange woman simply by watching it.
-It quenches the Spirit and fills you with guilt.
-It is addictive. The more you watch it, the more you want to continue even when you know it's not right and desire to break away from it. I have heard stories of married people addicted to porn. Kirk Franklin, the popular gospel musician was once severely addicted to porn. But thank God for his deliverance. Kirk Franklin was just one among many Christians who are secretly addicted to pornography . I hope in future, as God inspires us ,that we will be able to share how we can break out of this addiction. Satan has used it to enslave so many people. But God is able to deliver you if you allow Him. I know that first step to breaking from porn addiction is for you to desire to break away from it.
Pornography is simply wrong, ungodly and demonic. As much as you indulge in it, it possesses your faculties and fills you with sexual fantasies. So ,don't think to spice up your sex life by watching porn. You don't have to be tutored by porn when, in reality, most of it are just make believe in the bid to satisfy the world's crazy sexual fantasies! And when possibly your spouse doesn't meet up with the kind of sex you've seen in the make belief porn movies, you want to look for it elsewhere outside your marriage. It creates an overwhelming, near insatiable craving within you and enslaves you. Remember that one is a slave to that which overcomes him(2 Pet 2:19).
Here's what to do:Get busy! Read books, browse the internet on sex in Christian marriages. Get to know the different sex positions and how to please your spouse in bed. Follow the acceptable Christian principles in garnishing your love making. Let your spouse alone be your fantasy. Don't be ashamed to communicate openly with each other about what you want. Let the pleasuring be mutual. Let your marriage bed be sacred and undefiled(Heb 13:4). Explore! Ask the Holy Spirit to guide you in the choices you'll make. He will show you how to make your sex life more and more exciting. Whatever decisions you take must have to be in agreement with your spouse. Maximize your love life today and live in God's marital splendor.N.B: Remember that I said it's between 'two' married people. Please threesomes are not allowed! It's pure sexual perversion. So inasmuch as you want to make your sex more fun, do it in a godly way. Don't just follow all the junk in the internet.
We eagerly wait for your comments. God bless you.

HOW TO KEEP YOUR LOVE LIFE FRESH AND HOT!
I've heard a man say that his relationship with his wife of over 8 yrs was now more of a brother - sister relationship. The spark, the glamour , the excitement, the flare were all gone. Is that your story?There is every tendency that if you don't deliberately work at rekindling your love everyday of your married life it could grow stale and uninteresting. Just the way we keep refreshing our love for God by spending time with Him, studying Him to know Him better via His Word, it should be same in marriage. Married life will become business as usual and you begin to see your spouse as a co-tenant instead of your lover when the spark is gone.
The question now remains:what exactly went wrong, that the two of you who were so in love suddenly don't feel that way anymore? Marriage doesn't work out itself, it will take the two of you to make it work. Okay, with that said and done, let's go back in time. What happened when you met your wife? Did you woo her in order to win her heart? What and what did you do when you strove to win her love? She fell for you, didn't she? Alright, compare then and now. Are you still giving her as much attention or you've become too busy to do this?
Here's news guys, romance doesn't cost a thing. Your wife isn't basically moved by the money. What she wants is that love and attention. As you know, we women are moved so easily by words. Those seeming insignificant and inexpensive things are all you need to keep her heart singing. When you treat her like a queen, she will in turn treat you like a king. Let me let you in on a secret: If you keep giving your wife attention to show her how much you love her, she could even empty her bank account for you just because you pressed the right buttons. She will pour out her love on you unrestrained and you will never have a dull moment with her. It's pure and simple. I'm a woman, that's how I know. Return to your first love. Treat her right and she will DEFINITELY reciprocate.
Little things that cost no money can make her tingle. Like leaving a love note on the table that reads, 'You are the best. I love you' is enough to swoon her. I will not also forget to mention that she loves surprises.
Let's go over the list of the things you used to do and compare it with now...
-Do you still study her? It will help you not to take her nor her love for granted. It will make you appreciate her in every way and her essence to you resounded. Don't ever think you've known her too well or You will start looking down on the worth of her companionship.
-Do you still watch her sleep and smile when she bats her eyes open to meet yours? Wow! It will make her feel so sexy and special.It's a romantic way to start your day.
-Do you still listen to her? It depicts you are concerned and supportive of her.So don't make light her feelings. Even if she is blabbing, listen. She only needs your shoulder to lean on. Your listening to her comforts and calms her especially when she has had a bad day. Women can so easily confide in their husband every tiny details of the day. Listen and advice her where she needs it.
-Do you still take her out on romantic outings just to be alone with her, away from the children and everything else? It proves to her you still enjoy her company and gives you both room for more intimate discussions.
-Do you still suddenly give her a peck as you both cross your paths in the house? Be spontaneous! It's sweet and romantic. She will love it. Women love spontaneity.
-Do you still give her a helping hand in the kitchen or any domestic work?
-Do you still say to her 'I love you'? Professing your love to her makes her tingle.
-Do you still hold her hand in public? It will make her feel like a trophy that you wanna show off to the world.
-Do you still call her my Love, my girl and all those wonderful fond names to used to bestow on her not just in private but also in public?
-Do you still openly admire her in front of your friends? It shows her you are proud and unashamed of her.
Do you still....do you still...do you still.....There are piles and piles of it. The summary of it all is this: keep working on your love life deliberately. Woo her everyday and she will reciprocate your love. Try out new things with her. Enjoy your marriage. The spark will surely come alive again. Free yourself. Be flexible. Don't restrict what you feel for her and she will make your home heaven. Above all, trust God through all of this. Keep Him involved in your marriage and I know things will turn around for you and the wife of your youth. It's God's will that you enjoy your union.Shalom !

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