Ahem! About your marriage wish list...

At a time we fantasized about ‘him’, our knight in shining armor, coming to sweep us off our feet. We imagined what he would look like: Tall? Fair? Dark? Handsome? Average height? We thought, “ Would he be an entrepreneur, an architect, a doctor, a lawyer? (You know we love to cook up our dreams real big. Nobody ever dreams of marrying a bricklayer! It’s true so please pardon me…lol).We wonder where he is: In Nigeria or abroad?

Your heart gets excited as you dream of this guy who will dote on you, bring you breakfast in bed, spoil you silly with gifts, take you on a trip around the world and treat you like a queen. You even take a step further by drawing up your marriage wish list; a list of all the things you desire in your man : He must be educated, rich, based abroad, must be of same ethnicity with you bla bla bla..

Finally, the suitors come pouring in, in torrents or in trickles. Armed with your wish list in your head, you find it difficult to make your pick cos none fits into the picture of the man of your dreams.

So your waiting days turns to months and months to years. Age begins to tell on you yet the ‘one’ has not come strutting along, riding into your reality like you have fasted and prayed. Has not dawned on you that maybe the man on your wish list only exists in your imagination?

Soon your patience turns to desperation. And may be in your desperation you want to settle for any kind of man because time is no more on your side and you are quickly running out of options because they say your biological clock is ticking.

Here’s the deal: There is nothing wrong with drawing up your marriage wish list but keep it flexible and don’t engrave it in stone. Cos when your wish list is engraved in a stone, you may end up missing 'him' because over the years you have turned a blind eye on every guy who doesn't meet your criteria.Yes, you know what you want in your man but ultimately keep your ears and eyes open and allow God lead you cos at the end of the day, though the man of your dreams may not meet your wish list criteria, be rest assured that he will be the best for you and both of you will grow together into a more glorious future than your wish list can ever anticipate.

Keep your focus and your motives right so that you won’t have to miss 'the one' because you are looking only at superficial qualifications instead of the internal things that truly last.
When you love a man for what he is, for the material things he has, your marriage will only be built on superficiality because when these material things go, so will your love for him disappear.
But love a man for who he is and your love will grow deeper and your marriage will stay strong. Even in tough times, you will still love him because the reason why you chose him is inside not outside.

I agree that the man's physical qualification matters to an extent but let it not be the basis of your choosing him, rather let it be the starting point of your discovering his deeper qualities. Don't marry someone based on what he/she is but marry him/her based on who he/she is. Open your heart to settle for the man that best fits into your life purpose, a man you love and believe in. Those internal qualities make a man who he is and a man with beautiful inner qualities has a promising future.

Choose him and grow with him, then watch your love wax stronger and sweeter!

*Quick note: This write up is also for guys. Just put yourself in the ladies' shoes...I'm out.