"Does falling out of love with your spouse justify divorce?" Worried father whose son is getting a divorce asks. See a theologian's respone

A man was worried his son was getting divorced because he had fallen out of love with his wife and was longer happy. He asked if this was enough for divorce. "What would you say to someone who has 'fallen out of love' with their spouse, and why that's no grounds for divorce?"

Here was the response by theologian and Desiring God founder John Piper. 

"Divorce isn't justified just because one spouse has fallen out of love."
He said that falling out of love is a bad reason to divorce because, in his opinion, married couples oftentimes fall in and out of love, yet remain together.

"It is, in my judgment, almost ludicrous to think that we experience 'being in love' the same for the entire 60 years, just like we felt at the beginning of that relationship.

"In a relationship between two sinners forced to live as close as married couples live, it is naïve to think that every season will be one of warmth and sweetness and sexual romance. That's just contrary to almost the entire history of the world and contrary to every makeup of fallen human nature."

Piper went on to say that staying married is about covenant keeping and promise keeping rather than about staying in love.

"Be a man and woman of your word, a man and woman who keeps the vows to be committed for better or for worse, a man and a woman of character. That's what it's about," he continued.

"Marriage is the hardest relationship to stay in and the one that promises glorious, unique, durable joys for those who have the character to keep their covenant."

According to a 2013 Psychology Today article, in recent times "falling out of love" has become the chief reason for couples divorcing.

"Number one on the list of exit doors from marriage used to be an affair. Infidelities seemed to require that a couple give up on their relationship. Healing from an infidelity now looks possible to more couples," noted Psychology Today.



*It's common these days for someone to leave his or her marriage because he/she is longer happy. If we understand what marriage as God created it really is, we will know it's not something we walk in and out of at will. Marriage is a deeply spiritual transaction.

If you are no longer happy with something you used to happy with, it means something went wrong. Rather than opt for the easy way out why not go back and assess where and where things went wrong? Was there something you did or you are doing or not doing that is probably affecting your marriage?

That's why marriage is a school. We will definitely have our unhappy moments. It's not always joy joy neither is it a smooth ride all the way. If you keep walking out because of your pursuit for happiness, truth is you'll never find it! That's means you'll probably walk out of every relationship you get into as soon as you become unhappy. 

Why? Because it's your duty to bring happiness into your marriage; to work things out. It's not the other way round.