"Isn't it okay for us to watch porn to spice up our lovemaking as long as we both enjoy it?" :You just have to Read this!
Saw a beautiful piece on Christian Post that answers the question above and also tells how Porn has a devastating effects on marriage and I knew it would be wonderful to share. Please read on:
Porn creates a set of expectations about sex in marriage that are quite literally impossible to fulfill.
In seminars I spend several minutes explaining many reasons that the couple, or either spouse, should not be involved with porn. Interestingly, quoting Jesus' statement in Matthew 5:27-28 "You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.' But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart" is often countered with statements such as, "We're not lusting after those people; we want only each other. If we're both for it and use it together, it isn't cheating or leading us to bad things."Because of statements such as that, in addition to Scripture I share information about the affect of porn on marriage itself.
As people use porn, they start to buy into the idea that most people, especially the spouse they have or will have, should always be ready and willing to have sex. Not only that, from exposure to the multiplied variations of sexual behavior modeled in porn, they expect their partner to have sex in every manner possible, even ungodly acts. They also eventually compare themselves or their spouses to the people in porn. The person in a picture or video will never age a day or gain a pound, no matter how often the film is played. However, spouses age, gain weight, and wrinkle.
Because real people in real marriages eventually do not compare physically to those in pornography, porn usage erodes the ability to be sexually attracted to one's spouse. As one woman said to me, "I wish I had the money to have cosmetic surgery from the top of my head to the bottom of my feet so that maybe my husband would want to look at me rather than those women on the Internet."
It appears that the American expectation (maybe worldwide) is evolving into marrying a spouse that doesn't age or change physically, thinks about sex constantly, talks, acts, and dresses seductively, makes every lovemaking session extraordinary, and does everything either of them has seen, heard of, or imagined.
Real life isn't like porn. Even the real life of porn actors isn't like porn. People get tired, become preoccupied, develop broader interests, grow passionate about other dimensions of life, change after childbirth (both genders), and age a little every day. Occasionally, they don't like their partner. Life isn't focused on sex.
Joe Beam
(He is internationally known and respected authority in love, sex and marriage)
In seminars I spend several minutes explaining many reasons that the couple, or either spouse, should not be involved with porn. Interestingly, quoting Jesus' statement in Matthew 5:27-28 "You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.' But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart" is often countered with statements such as, "We're not lusting after those people; we want only each other. If we're both for it and use it together, it isn't cheating or leading us to bad things."Because of statements such as that, in addition to Scripture I share information about the affect of porn on marriage itself.
As people use porn, they start to buy into the idea that most people, especially the spouse they have or will have, should always be ready and willing to have sex. Not only that, from exposure to the multiplied variations of sexual behavior modeled in porn, they expect their partner to have sex in every manner possible, even ungodly acts. They also eventually compare themselves or their spouses to the people in porn. The person in a picture or video will never age a day or gain a pound, no matter how often the film is played. However, spouses age, gain weight, and wrinkle.
It appears that the American expectation (maybe worldwide) is evolving into marrying a spouse that doesn't age or change physically, thinks about sex constantly, talks, acts, and dresses seductively, makes every lovemaking session extraordinary, and does everything either of them has seen, heard of, or imagined.
Real life isn't like porn. Even the real life of porn actors isn't like porn. People get tired, become preoccupied, develop broader interests, grow passionate about other dimensions of life, change after childbirth (both genders), and age a little every day. Occasionally, they don't like their partner. Life isn't focused on sex.
Joe Beam
(He is internationally known and respected authority in love, sex and marriage)
Wooow..sure nails it!...quite brief and yet exhaustive in dealing with the question...
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