Relationship Tips for the Married: 'Don't's

1. Don't get familiar with your spouse
Is this a surprising comment to make? I will clarify myself. Have you heard of the adage that familiarity breeds contempt? It's natural for a couple to get familiar with their bodies, activities and behaviors. But don't let it get in the way of how you treat or regard your spouse. Don't stop studying your partner. Don't stop wooing your spouse. Learn something new about him/her everyday. It will keep you from taking your spouse for granted and make you begin to devalue them. But do you know that one doesn't know the value of what one has until one has lost it? Let this not be your story. Daily studying your spouse keeps you interested in him/her and makes you discover better ways to satisfy them. It's just like our relationship with God. No matter how long we have been in our relationship with Him through Christ, we should never get familiar with God. If you do, you will begin to take certain things about Him for granted. You begin to disrespect and undermine Him and clearly it will affect your relationship Him. So it is between a man and his wife.
2. Don't compare your spouse with another
This could be quite a common problem in marriages where a woman, for instance, may be comparing her husband with that of her friend."Oh! If only he can be like so so so...". So everything he now does,you weigh it against the other guy. You begin to become less appreciative of his efforts and feel antagonistic towards him. Really this can be frustrating for your spouse. You don't even notice all his efforts to make you happy. Why? You have been blinded by another so nothing he does will ever be good enough. Remember your spouse is unique. Two people can never be the same. The way he demonstrates his love and feelings may not be the same for your friend's husband. Paul said, " When they compare themselves with one another, they are most foolish... " 2 Cor 10:12. Comparison limits your spouse and overlays all the wonderful things about him. Do not forget the person you compare him with is imperfect, having his own personal issues that you don't even know about. Christ is the measure,the standard, the perfect man. So love your spouse as he/she is. Accept him/her and appreciate the unique way he/her shows his/her love for you. Don't be surprised that even your friend whom you were wishing for your husband to be more like hers, is nurturing the same thoughts for your husband. Funny, isn't it? But that is life. You will misjudge when you judge from a distance. Get close and you will see the person as he is and you may not really like him what you see. Then your eyes will be opened to the futility of such comparisons. No marriage or couple is perfect. They have their own unique challenges but the question is: how do you handle them?