CHARACTER: A woman's greatest asset...

I spoke on this topic 'The woman's greatest asset' on an online platform and I want to share with you here also.

We all go through the  social media, abi? So on this fateful day, you see this picture your Facebook friend just liked and you decide to pop it open. Viola! This fine girl appears staring back at you. Hmmm...oga o! She carry, she hawt eh, this one na correct figure 8, aka Kim Kardashian. 

You look yourself. Your beauty no reach anywhere near her own, so you come dey jealous, dey feel somehow. And possibly making a silent wish, "Chai, I wish I was as beautiful as this girl..."

But come to think of it, who beauty epp? The world is so full of such women who seem to have everything and yet lack the most important asset that makes them unique and extra-ordinary. 

Have you ever wondered why is it so easy for men to get a girl friend/sex partner, but when it boils down to choosing a wife, they realize that 'wife material' is scarce? What really does a man want in his woman? What is he looking for?! 

A man who wants a wife is looking for more than a fine - faced woman to grace his home. He is looking for something more intrinsic and long - lasting. 

*What am I saying?*

👉A woman's beauty is not her greatest asset. That you are busty, get big 'back yard', gather killer curves, bleached up like Bobrisky, glowing  chocolate skin, if you want be like Jennifer Lopez...it means nothing. Men are moved by what they see, but what will keep a man will take much more than what they see 'on'  you. What they see 'in' you is what truly counts. 

Don't worry, I am coming...just follow me. 

👉A woman's virginity is not her greatest asset. For some women, their virginity is all they talk and clearly care about. They are so eager to present their 'package' untainted to their husbands on their wedding night. After all, they say your virginity is the best gift you can give to your man when you both say 'I do'. That's commendable sweetheart but there's more! 

👉Your cooking skills is not your greatest asset. I know they say the  way to a man's heart is good food. Lol. One day I asked my husband if it's true. The guy say for where? It takes much more than a good plate of food to win your husband's heart. 

👉Your being good in bed is not your greatest asset. Worldly women boast about this aspect a whole lot it's so disgusting. The value they place on themselves is based on their bedmatics and sex appeal. Little wonder when men look at them all that comes to their mind is sex, cos that’s all they are good for. Now that's low! 

All these qualities are dispensable. But there is one asset that is indispensable; which no woman can do without.  It's what makes a woman different from the rest; the one thing that makes you a rare kind of woman; the wife material. 

That asset is CHARACTER. It is a woman's greatest asset. (And man's too but am not talking about men today. Lol) 

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*What is character?* 

I took the liberty to visit my dictionary to get the definition of character and this is what I found:

'It is the mental and moral qualities distinctive to an individual. It is the way someone thinks, feels and behaves. Your personality, nature, disposition; your temperament and mentality.'

That is to say, your character is the real you. The who you are. The way you think, talk or act are all make up of your character. Your attitude. Your faith. Your personality. Your inner beauty. Your character is the depiction of what is in your mind (mindset/mentality). It gives away who you really are. 

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*Why character?*

Because it's indispensable, priceless and valuable. While you can 'learn' how to cook, how to have great sex with your husband or how to look beautiful, you don't learn character, you build it; you develop it. Develop because it takes a process called 'life'. 

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*What does character comprise of?*

Godliness, humility, right attitude, love, respect, cleanliness, purity. As a matter of fact look at Gal 5:22-23: 

'The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control!'

So it's impossible to be a woman of character without the Holy Spirit. A woman of character is a woman of virtue; a godly woman. She won't talk anyhow, dress anyhow, act anyhow. She is God-conscious. 

She is wholesome, well rounded and well behaved, always seeking to improve her self and be at her best, not just to her husband but to everyone. She knows how to balance her responsibilities. 

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*How do you develop character?*

1. *Tough times*: Any time we are going through stuff, God is trying to teach us something new, so keep your heart and ears open. During your trials, your spiritual antennae should be at it's peak.

One day, I heard a preacher speaking on hard times and he said "Don't say it's over until you win. And when you going through a tough day, say to yourself, "I am having a character building day," because God is taking you through that situation to make you a better person. 

Tough times shape your character only if you allow it o. For some people, that’s when they cave in and desert God. Are trials necessary? Yes. The Bible says that we should count it all joy... '  James 1:2 (Later, take your time and read it to verse 4)

Are you going through a challenge right now? You are discouraged attimes right? I do too. But Paul said rather than make us sad, we should rejoice about them. Lol. That's tough. To rejoice in a difficult period? That's insane. The carnal man will say it's insane and impossible but with God, it sure is possible. How? The peace that passes all understanding. That's what keeps your heart and mind on Jesus (Philippians 4:7) 

When you decide to look beyond the cross to the glory that lies ahead, you'll see you have every reason to rejoice. That's faith. 

Trials build our character. They make us stronger, resilient and more faith-full. So don't back down. You are only having a character building day. 

Ok, let's look at David. What would have happened if little David looked down on the work he did for his dad in the wilderness? If you were in his shoes you may have said to yourself, 'What am I doing here?'  But what you don't know is that it is in that wilderness that God is shaping you; making you. It takes a process. If God will give you what He has promised, He will prepare you for it else you won't be able to handle it. He will build your character. That's why you don't look down on where you are right now. Don't be in a hurry and opt for a shortcut. Build character first. 

Sometimes I am always in a hurry to get to where God has promised me. Hah! I will be like, "Lord why now? Why are you delaying?" But then the Holy Spirit will say to me, "Cool down Mitchelle. Build character. Build character." 

And that’s what I am doing everyday and I encourage you to do the same. It's a lifetime process o. We grow everyday. 

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2.*You build character by the right associations.*

What company are you in? Who are your friends? Do they bring out the best or the worst in you? If they don't bring out the best in you, it's time you dissociate from them and make new ones. After all they say, "Show me your friends and I will tell you who you are."

3.*You build character by looking at the Word of God.* 

The best way to develop character is by studying God's Word. It shapes your mentality. The Bible says we should renew our minds, developing new attitudes and ideals (Rom 12:2). We are to be good students of God's Word and by it develop new thinking patterns, which will ultimately change our entire destiny (the outcome of our life). 

4.*By reading great materials or listening to great audios.* 

What we watch or listen to a whole lot have great influence on us. They influence our minds and work on our hearts. That's why it's important what you 'feed' on. When you feed on carnal stuffs, you fatten your flesh and starve your spirit man. But if you want to kill off your flesh and make it lose control over you, feed your spirit man daily with God's Word and great materials. 

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*Why is character so important?* 

Someone said, "Sow a thought, reap an action; sow an action, reap a habit; sow a habit, reap a character; sow a character, reap a destiny." (Think about this carefully) 

Your destiny is the outcome of life and it’s as a result of your character. Your character determines your approach to things, your response to situations, your action, your words, your thought process. That's why I said your character is the real you. If you are going to succeed in life, you must build character. 

Character is what makes you a wife material. It is what makes you a home maker. Character is what makes you the Proverbs 31 kind of woman.

So probably today you will need to change your focus or up your game. While beauty is good, and virginity is commendable, add character to it cos that what makes you different from any other woman out there. 

If you are a lady waiting to get married, the greatest and life-lasting gift you can give to your husband is not your virginity; it is your character. Your virginity ends on your wedding night but character continues for a lifetime. 

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*So what do you invest in?*

So if there's anything you must build, build your character. Am I saying you should neglect the outward and focus only on the inward beauty? 

No way. Take care of your body girl! Look good but pay even more attention to your inner qualities. Take care of both, the inside and outside,  but I rather you put in more effort and time to your internal qualities than the external. 

How much have you spent on grooming your character, horning your attitude and building yourself worth? How much of God's Word do you study? How much of it do you have in your system? How many books have you read this year? Audios nko? 

It's awkward when a Christian brother meets this very pretty lady and decides to get closer to know her better. Only to deal with the lady for sometime and move on without looking back. Why? Because there is nothing to keep him. What he is seeing on the surface does not coincide with what he saw on the inside. 

It's difficult to find a treasure and lose it. No man in his right mind would want to lose a woman of character. Know your worth. Be that woman her husband would hate to lose, not the type her husband will start singing praises when she is out of his life.

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"Better to live on a rooftop than share a house with a nagging wife." Some men get high BP when they think of coming back home to their wife. Often, it pushes them into staying out late drinking with friends, infidelity or even death! Why? Because he is married to a woman of no moral character. But men who are married to a woman of substance 'run' home to their wife because he knows he is coming back to peace, joy, a neat home, good food, a sexy wife, encouraging words and great sex...yeah! 

The fear of God is the foundation of character. 

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*What is beauty without character?*

This is what the Bible says about it:

A beautiful woman without character /who lacks discretion is like a gold ring in a pigs snout (Pro 11:22) 

Beauty without character means nothing. Invest more time, energy and money into that which matters most - character. 

NB: Character is also a man's greatest asset!